Interpersonal conflict often begins when someone pushes another’s hot button. That conflict can also be heightened or prolonged when other hot buttons get pushed. While we all have a few individualized hot buttons, there are also three universal hot buttons that get a rise out of virtually anyone.
I believe it is important to know what those universal hot buttons are so that you:
- Might refrain from saying/doing something that sparks conflict;
- Might better understand why someone reacts in a highly charged way after you have said/done something; and/or
- Might better understand your own emotional response at times.
Here they are. I will likely push a hot button if I say or do something that makes you:
- ONE: Feel as if I’ve taken from you a legitimate amount of control, and/or
- TWO: Feel de-valued or unloved, and/or
- THREE: Doubt your self-worth.
Think about the last time you were in the midst of personal conflict with someone. Were one or more of those hot buttons pushed by you and/or the other person? My guess is your answer is “yes.”
Handle hot buttons with care.